The man called alone..

Been called so many names
Been mocked many a time
My biggest critic is the dementor growing deep inside.... Me.
What some might like to call
A man's overbloated conscience
The more spiritual will call it the police of the soul
The caution, the brakes so a man does not wander off road
But I know only what it's told me
In retrospect it was never meant to leave me alone. To be less judgy and unappreciative of myself I realize I have grown. Being a work in progress and all that
In many ways it shows I AM ALONE! I keep trying to do better while I fight the demons trying to take away home. And I plod along on my own

Ramblings and a little touch of....

To love and be loved is the crave of the human spirit.
The unloved find themselves in a pit called the wretched unforgiven.
I am on a path of self discovery, love and understanding; what it means to exist and enjoy living.
I am trying to understand why human nature loves the forbidden.
We love what we should not love. We hunger for what we should not touch.
We search for fulfilment in what will bring nothing but emptiness and loss.
We forget the price paid by an innocent who hung on a cross. It sounds so easy as I say this
But it's never easy, especially when I look deep into her eyes and strength fails me.
Right and wrong become lines that are extremely blurred. Especially when wrong comes in the form of a perfume scented touch

She....

A paragon of beauty
The physical embodiment of seamless and timeless beauty; exquisite in it's uniqueness
What is this thing you might ask me?
I call it ....... SHE!
A taker of thoughts.
A controller of emotions and words.
An unparallel surge of attraction, like electricity drawn to iron
A rollercoaster of inherently subdued desires and feelings.
What is this strange and seemingly unexplainable entity?
I call it ...... SHE!!

What is the thing I see in shades of red, blue and green? Like the conglomeration of sweet textures on color defying lipstick on near perfect lips... With a body well shaped and trim. What could this be? To whom can we ascribe this?
I call it.... SHE!
Who is she?
She is her! She is here! She is there! She is one who stares!
She is also one who cares! She cares and smiles as she reads what I wrote here. She is YOU!

An unbridled passion

I write these words calm in the knowledge they could make or mar me
I speak in a tongue I hope you and I speak
I exist in a world that defies understanding
I couldn't tell you of it even if I found a way to describe what I am feeling
I have come to the realization I am one of many things
I am an imperfect individual who tries with varying degrees of success to do the right thing
I sometimes let unwholesome motions and passions to get the best of me
I am on a journey of self discovery to understand what it is that I see
To understand what makes me; me.
To finally rest in the knowledge that I am at peace and free
But you can't be free when you hunger for what is not yours to have or give
I wonder if any have ever felt like this?
You love what you should not love. You don't hate what you should hate. You spend hours fixating on a person who for all intents and purposes is far from your reach.
It's like you are floating in space while trying to catch something the earth keeps in it's wake.
Every thought of you is like a feeling akin to labor pain.
What then will be my gain? If these thoughts of love drive me insane.

The deepest of connections

There are many words I can say to you
There are many some may say is untrue
Voices and rhythms fade away like mountain dew
There are those that call themselves things that are not true
There are many others like me and you
Each unique in their own perspectives but with the same human spirit
There are many voices that do nothing but keep talking
There are many troubles as there are solutions
There are many world's
Cold and unforgiving
There are hard choices
Which could crush the human spirit
The earth we walk on might cease to exist tomorrow
The one constant is the strength and depth of the human spirit
The connections we make now, in this time could spill through the centuries
Even when the human stat is no longer even a memory
But our connections have the capacity to outlive us
It's these connections that determine if we fade or live on
I hold my connection to my family, my wife, my friends so dear. And YOUR connection is one I will not easily forget. It will live on beyond hate, love and even regret

Darkness and Beauty

The darkness comes first
And then the rain
It comes with such ferocity
It threatens to drive a man insane
Some claim
In moments like this... There isn't any gain
But I beg to differ... In the deepest of darkness lies the birth, the sliver of light; reborn, rekindled, destined to rise again
I have learnt to take joy in the simplest of pleasures
The warmth of a touch, a smile
Like watching the sweet waters of the nile
Flow rapidly by my side
I have learnt to joy in the brightness of a deep blue sky
Or the care and devotion in a loved ones face and eyes
I have learnt to take leaps and giant strides
I have learnt to close and then open myself wide
I have learnt to put away the sighs
Consider the positives and worry about other things but mine
And I have come to the inescapable conclusion something about you is BRIGHT, It LIGHTS! It's KIND! Whatever you do, do not let betrayal quench that beauty you hold inside. Selah

Vestige of the unspoken word

There are words that should not be spoken. Words that should not be uttered.
There are thoughts that leave a man broken
Words that crush the essence of life and existentialism.
There are people who are easily forgotten
Sexes that inspire wrath, rage or even fulfilment.
There are levels of human emotions, degrees of human feelings.
There are friends and there are enemies, destruction and building.
There is God in all perfection; Righteousness, all whiteness. A clinical absence of darkness.
Then there are people beyond description. Exuding sunlight and beauty into seemingly dark sentences.
But besides all this is one, a transcendence, fulfilment, unique in all its markings..... You!!!