Thursday, March 22, 2018

The Hunt __

What I chase is bigger than me __ what chases me is __ well that's another story. I am a man on a search for what others regard as heresy. I am a man led by something most couldn't fathom even if was right by their feet.
Time and placement has no part in what I believe __ the vision is so fantastic that it would be lunacy to tell any except the greatest believers what erupts to the surface from my spirit.
I am on a road that I thought I would travel alone with no one beside me. Why? Some may ask me __
The reason being I never thought any would be brave enough to follow the uncertainties that are my dreams
I am a man who has known loss, abandonment and a host of other things. I am a man who has known sickness, unrighteousness and a displeasure at the forces that exist simply to resist and discredit me.
I am a man of dreams __ who for the strangest of reasons God loves in-spite of how many times I fall on the path to the glory of it all.
I am a man trying to understand HIM! If I could understand him even a percentage of how he gets me __ I would be much further along than this. The only thing I do know with any certainty is that for some fathomless reason __ he loves me.
The path ahead must be trod alone __ no help __ no solace __ only the one I receive from him. The saints above are cheering as they watch it all __ I imagine them fall silent as I fall again and again. But every time I do I always hear the words GET UP! GET UP! The war's not over yet.
I am chasing something bigger than all I see __ I can only hope God in his infinite mercies will help me get to it 

Friday, March 16, 2018

What there is ___

I see a sea of eyes __ some crying, some with a smile __ smiles that aren't fooling anyone __ I see hidden tears just struggling to burst to the surface__ I see fears __ holding men captive __ A false bravado that has become sort of adaptive
To what you might ask __ to the human species.
There is world beyond what seeth the captives __ there is hope __ or a hope (if hope can be quantified that is __) there is a vessel of honor and righteousness which at the moment is buried so deep.
There is a lifting coming from what some may think is some bizarre sort of dark vixen. And there is a truth which gives life everlasting coming from within old and century bound pages
Most importantly __ there is a God __ who sits on his throne above __ doing nothing more than watching over us.
There is a beginning __ life has to start from something __ there is a middle __ for most this is no more than a riddle __ while some dark pipe piper plays an unruly fiddle __ and lastly there is an end __ it is a place where rules can no longer be bent __ where after a life well spent __ you'll be held accountable for how you lived until the end.
There is me __ there is also you __ following these words line by line __ so true. There is a vessel __ it could be me __ it could be you __ one day we'll know who is true.
There is a light __ beyond man's normal sight __ it is a delight for those that have drunk from its lofty height __ there is might __ a spiritual altercation going on and on until the mysteries of a thousand generations would reach a final conclusion.
There is her __ there is also me __ there is them __ those beyond my reach __ there is breakthrough __ oh __ how sweet! Then there is evanescence! A bright flash of light and a breath of fresh air to those who can tune to it.
There is Akintomide Ifedayo Adigwe and there is the world __ pondering on the intricacies of it all. There is dawn and that my friends brings an end to my weird and pointless call.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

A world

Our world is one plagued by darkness. Not darkness of the disturbing sort __ but a physical sort of darkness __ the kind when you have no electricity. The powers that be call this the land of the free __ the giants of this great continent where millions live. But this giant is one that is on its final stretch, weakly clinging onto life while blood sucking ticks called politicians are slowly sucking it dry.
We live in a world plagued by suffering, even as I consider this __ it is suffering of the wretched unforgiving. Men trampling over the rights of the poor, the weak __ and dare I say the stupid.
This is a world where great men have lived, great men have been and more importantly great men have been birthed.
Alas we are a shadow of the giant we used to be. Like barely digestible fiction to the gourmet attraction of the real thing which you savor like a three course meal. We have no light, we have no roads, we have no love or affection for each other. Even when one party breaks through the quagmire that is poverty, the only thing he or she thinks to do is use his new found riches to oppress the little ones around him.
I am a man puzzled by all I see. A man sometimes plagued by doubts and insecurities while many gather like flesh eating birds intent on feeding on carrion. Mockers __ my next science fiction book will have them as the quintessential antagonists. I find myself abandoned by even family. Through it all __ the only light at my door is __ the only one I adore. Through this darkness we trudge __ alone __ with no one save God. With only a pencil thin flashlight to take us forward.
In a nation of the lost __ we were lucky we found __ each other __ gathered solace and strength from one another to fight a war that wants nothing better than to tear us asunder.
In some ways __ in a fashion __ perhaps this uncaring world exists to test our mettle. Or maybe I am to ignite the light within to light up my surroundings.
She walks with me __ stride for stride __ blow for blow __ concussive burst for concussive burst __ shielding our selves from the blood, guts and the hammering that comes and seems to want to come for ever after.
Our world is Nigeria __ and it is a world fully capable of driving a man to hysteria.

Friday, February 23, 2018


The kids jibber and jabber around me __ but even the noise doesn't drown the impatience I feel. I am angry with the world __ impatient with life __ as I ponder on the fact that things aren't moving as fast as I would like.
All the proposals have been written. It's sad to see many would rather seen the righteous smitten. These are words that were unavoidably bidden. Because of the change raging from beneath.
Weariness flows deep into my limbs __ I ask this question as I wonder if I have sinned.
What dark saber is this? There are enemies I do see, who want to see all I hold dear destroyed; dead and forgotten. I fight to realize my dreams even as some dark voices tell me this is a war I cannot win.
If I let the words continue destruction will come quicker than a knife to the ribs. For now I must persevere, I must look forward, walk hand in hand with God who can make all things possible in both financial and spiritual ways.
My eyes are fastened on the heaven as I wonder what will be my pleasure. If the curtain falls without all this being delivered I would have achieved nothing. But I know this will not be my portion. The light of God will shine on my pavilion and this time there shall be a grateful celebration to celebrate his faithfulness in my life and hopefully put all this to rest. I do not intend to live in regret. 

Friday, February 9, 2018


Every day I am at work by 7.15am sharp. The deadline is 7.30. For the eleven months plus a few days I’ve been working in the small school where I teach primary school students whose age range is between six and eight, I have never gotten to work late. In some respects the job is satisfactory __ You kinda feel like a potter moulding the lives and destinies of bright young minds.
But there are days I cannot help but remember my more carefree days. When I was in a College of Education in a very small town called Ondo State which I am sure many have never heard of. Life was easier then __ no drag of nine to five __ no bills to pay __ just getting through the academic hurdle so I could be handed my degree.
Truth be told I did more playing than reading. Let me fill you in on a little back story. I never wanted to be in a College of Education. In my country being in a college of education meant you had to teach and back then boy did I not want to be a teacher. The ironic part is I ended up doing just that.
But I digress __ I hated every minute of being there for the first six months until I made some friends. They were actually friends of my younger brother who became my friends when I found myself in the same class as him.
We had so many wild escapades together. One time my brother and I; hellions that we were, stumbled on a knee high bottle of our dad’s hundred percent whisky. Ecstatic with our find we called the guys together and decided to throw a little shindig. Joshua or Josh as we like to call him got a couple of girls together, including a vacant apartment which would serve as the venue. The speed with which he got things together took my breath away. What none of us stopped to consider was if our bodies could stand the strain of a hundred percent alcohol whisky.
The party arrived, girls turned up in droves and we got the music going. Some of my luckier dudes (my brother inclusive) retired to some of the spare rooms to make out with girls.
I remember Josh racing to me with a cup of this whisky, was hesitant about tasting it. Something in my gut warned me it wouldn’t end well. Josh seeing I wasn’t going to go down without a fight persuaded me the only way he could. He challenged my manhood. Saying I was a chicken, that even the girls took a good swig of it.
Stung by his words I took a generous gulp. It only took a few seconds and I started having reactions. First came the warmth, the intense happiness and the pricking sensation behind my eyeballs. It was as if a sharp needle was trying to poke its way out of the back of my corneas.
A little worried now; I called Josh and asked him if he was having a pricking sensation behind his eyeballs. He reacted the way only Josh could; laughter __ a long bout of annoying laughter.
Before I completely lost sense of what was happening boys and girls who’d dared the hundred percent alcohol whisky started acting very strangely. One girl sat down with her head between her legs and started laughing uncontrollably.
Another of my friends leapt on a car and started doing a Michael Jackson impression. He was barely halfway through when he suddenly collapsed on the hood of the car and conked out until morning.
My brother and one of his girlfriends (and yeah he had many) stumbled out as if hit on the head with a hammer. There was a shallow gutter a few metres away from the house’s entrance. He made it to the edge before kneeling down and throwing up uncontrollably. The most disturbing part was __ whenever he came up for air he’d release a guffaw of what could best be described as maniacal laughter.
He vomited for close to thirty minutes and laughed for another forty. By which time his girlfriend was convinced he’d gone insane. I got off the hood of the car I’d been sitting on and managed to make it into the apartment. My destination was one of the rooms but I could only make it as far as the couch where I passed out for the night. My sleep was dreamless. Like someone hit me over the head with a hammer.
When I woke up my friends regaled me stories of what happened after I slept. We reached an unspoken decision never to raid our father’s liquor closet again.

Some of the girls aren’t speaking to us till today, and I can’t say I blame them. 

Friday, July 7, 2017

A crippling bride price

Her eyes were clouded with pain ___ the pain wasn't dissimilar from the one in my heart. I hated to see her this way. It hurt me more than anything. The worst part was, she felt this pain because of me. She was literally fighting to be with me.
Her parent's for lack of a better adjective to use are 'tools!' A wise man once postulated that the enemies of a man are in his house. I used to think people from the east were beautiful people. My mum hails from the eastern part of the country and she is one of the most beautiful and sacrificing people I know. My dad ___ well___ let's just say there is literally no one on the planet earth that is quite like him. You decide if I mean that in a good way __ lol
But these easterners that call themselves mother and father to the girl of my dreams are some of the worst people I have ever seen. A Yoruba man without much experience relating with easterners might be tempted to think every easterner is a money grubbing blood sucking tick. Fortunately having related with my mum for thirty seven and a half years I am able to give the benefit of the doubt that perhaps all easterners aren't like this.
I want to marry their daughter; no harm no foul, a man's gotta get hitched sometime. And if you've get a caring, loving and seductive beauty hanging on your every word you'd want to tie the knot as soon as possible. Until perhaps her dad goes home under the guise of securing the marriage list (dowry) and you discover he is trying to bill you over Three Million Naira just because you want to marry his daughter. I chuckle as I write this, asking myself if he ever thought to ask if I have seen that amount of money in my life.
My journey to marry has been ___ well __ a blessing (speaking through the veil of hope). My mother took one look at the list and bailed vowing never to darken the steps of the (as she put it) FOOLISH MAN. But it gets worse __ after my dad and I being diplomatic appealed to him to accept between a hundred and fifty thousand and two hundred thousand (which I'd still have had to save for). He now gave the knock out punch.
He said even if I was dropping that small amount of money I'd have to sign a sort of MOU. Put it in writing and sign that I am still owing him money. My dad and I were speechless! It was surreal. It got us wondering whether he was in the business of selling his daughters. A daughter I might add he did not train. She has been doing all manner of menial jobs to see herself through school from a very young age. And most times when she brings her salary home under the guise of saving it for her he spends it on his own needs. His wife seems very supportive of this. Which makes me wonder; if one has parents' like that you really do not need enemies.
I have gotten a lot of friendly advice, from friends, spiritual fathers, family, the whole nine yards. The general consensus is I leave the girl and find someone else. The old person I used to be might have. But I will stick it out __ as long as she remains determined to be with me. The sun is rising across the deep.
Parents out there __ please listen to this. Your children are not commodities you batter and trade with at will. Your children are not bank accounts or safety deposit boxes that you can keep going out to withdraw as you please. The bible says a responsible parent will leave an inheritance for his children and children's children. It is good if your children take care of you when you're older but you shouldn't toy with their destinies cos you want to become a millionaire overnight. Easterners in Nigeria, hear this and hear this well. Stop selling your daughters __ a good son in law who sees how fair you were when giving out your daughter will always respect and admire you for it. And if he is decent will make sure he does everything to treat the girl well. A word is enough for the wise.

Monday, May 29, 2017

Diary of a lost lonely woman vol 2

I remember that December as if it were yesterday... The harmattan season had just kicked in.. the chill was everywhere.. we were days away from exams and my school fees had not been paid.

I stared at the plate of cake in front of me astounded at the obtuseness and insensitivity of my so called loving boyfriend's. They showered me with useless gifts instead of giving me something I could really use... Like MONEY!

Sam and Joshua were even better.. it was that creep Henry that was the worst. My body started to get all tingly as I thought of him. The familiar flood of self loathing filled me.

It never ceased to amaze how I could still be in love with that piece of crap after all he'd done to me. I was for lack of a better term nothing more than a bitch to him. Tears filled my eyes and I rubbed them away fiercely. Now was not the time to pine and cry over spilt milk. It didn't solve my immediate problem. MY BLOODY SCHOOL FEES!!

Just then my room mate walked in. Everyone knew what sort of person she was. I was small fry. Someone like her didn't soil her breeches by messing with small fry like I did. The boys at school were beneath her. She dealt with me. REAL men! Elderly, with plenty of cash to burn. Not sure why her eyes drifted my way that day. Usually the only greeting I expected from her was a perfunctory nod in my direction

But that day she took one look at me and asked "What's wrong?" In retrospect I think she probably sensed easy prey... Gullible gal's like me she could bend to her will by showing a little care and concern.

Sad to say I bought into her crap and found myself telling her everything. She gave me one look after I was done and chuckled. "Is that all? I thought you had cancer or something. Well that's not a problem. Are you serious about getting a solution to your school fees problem?"

I nodded violently. She smiled again and said ____ "Then it's settled__ we're going out tonight. There is someone I want to introduce you to who can make all your financial problems go away."

I sat up, really interested. "Who is this man? What is his name?"

"His name my dear is Mustapha Hajji. And he is the only man who can give you what you need. See you at nine pm."

And with a swirl of her wide skirt she was gone. I pondered on her words for nearly an hour afterwards. I didn't realize then that was the beginning of another chapter in my life... The GENESIS of my downward spiral to destruction and loneliness. That was the day I met Mustapha Hajji.... More when we speak again