Thursday, April 27, 2017

Diary of a lost lonely woman

People speak of luck and love as if they're two things every human being is automatically born with.
But that would be a lie. I have for the most part found myself to be unlucky in love. I grew up believing all the crock... You watch Disney movies long enough and you might be tempted to believe happily ever after actually exists. I was the more deceived. 
School; and when I say school I mean higher institution, was every hormone crazy boy or girls wet dream. 
The freedom was invigorating. You could do anything you wanted to do and no one was there to nag or lecture you.
I didn't know it at the time but that was when my dance with the devil began. I had a boyfriend... It was such an exciting experience that I said to myself why stop at one? Then I got another and then another... The power I wielded over the seemingly gullible guys who fell over themselves to satisfy my every whim was an intoxicating rush that cannot be put into words. 
One was different from the rest. His confidence and sheer masculine attraction was almost too much to bear. He quickly cast his spell and instead of being the player I was the one being played. 
It was inevitable.. sex came.... And I found myself a slave. He dumped me when the euphoria of our countless sexual encounters wore off. It was then I understood the game.
I changed.. evolved... It became not about the rush, the physical extremities of pleasure... No.... Nothing as blaise or inconsequential as that. It became about the money.... I'll tell you more about it when next I come visiting... Until then.... Bon voyage
NEXT 
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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

The world we live in

We live in a world rife with injustices. A world of unfairness, unfaithfulness, seeded with corruption. A world where right is categorized as wrong, and wrong categorized as right.
I live in a world of beautiful scenery, prettier people, with a heart for giving; hardworking, relentless, willing to pursue their objectives in spite of the ugly cards life has dealt them. It’s here you find people going about their business; to church, work, the million other places normal people go; even when an uncaring government doesn’t pay them their dues.
This is a world where people build beauty out of ashes. A country where mothers do all to ensure their wards don’t go hungry. A world where constant power is something of a distant memory; a world where leaders tell us we should be grateful to receive what citizens in other countries call rights.
They steal our money, smear our honour and the worst part is we give them a hero’s welcome after their dastardly deeds come to light. We are for lack of a better term idiotic and foolish; the bane of the average Nigerian. Personally I don’t blame the bloodsucking leaders. I blame the citizen’s, the ruled who are unwilling to get off their fat butts and tell these godless despots that they aren’t doing what they ought to do. We simply celebrate them, sing their praises to high heavens just cos of a bowl of porridge, the five thousand, two thousand, ten thousand they give to sell your soul to the devil.
This is our world. This is our time ___ a mineral resource filled goldmine, a perfect creation of the divine. This is black world, a black Nirvana; a place I’ll like to call merry ol’ Nigeria. 

Saturday, January 28, 2017

The Devil

People speak of the devil like he is one far off distant figure. But I'll have you know he dwells amongst us. I see him in people, in things, in happenings all around the globe. Fortunately these happenings have so far steered clear of me...Not cos of my own right doing but cos of the Lord's mercy.
 The devil walks amongst us... The Prince of this world. Bringing death and destruction on those who refuse God's mercy.I see him in fights you have with loved ones. I see him present when a husband murders his wife in cold blood.I see him when a man abandons his family and flees with another woman. I see him when wars and rumours of wars rise beyond the horizon.He is a creature of deception. And if care is not taken he will deceive God's elected.
 I see nations overtaken by hunger, I see dead bodies litter a once pristine landscape casualties of an eternal war.... Lambs to the slaughter. If there is evil in any man we know who is his master. Man is good, and yet evil, a continuous battle forever raging. Whichever part he feeds becomes that which he is.
 I see you out there trying to lure me out of here... from under bosom and canopy of the Lord God. Hear my words. Pity you can't read these thoughts. I am not lost, I am hidden. In the arms of he who loves me. I recognize you are the devil but I am a god and with the backing of my father you have no place with me. You are the devil... I am God! I dwell in him through Jesus Christ who is one with him. I see the devil but not with me...
 I see him in the darkness surrounding the earth. This is a call to all others. Run this race, look to the one who persevered to the end.The devil's influence has come to an eternal end. Where do I begin? Let me start at the time where things didn't go as well as they do now. It's time for me to FLY... to the top ___ above the mountains where he and his minions will never find me

Monday, January 23, 2017

Granny's gone

Granny's gone
When I thought about her yesterday morning I never thought 3 am today will be when she'll sing her final song
This is wrong...
God I failed her in all ways not missing one
Granny now that you're gone I see so many ways I went wrong
I had it all mapped out.. it was figured
What arrogance on my part to think I couldn't be wrong
And I was wrong. Terribly so...
Life and it's great odds didn't allow me to do what I should have done.
I should have bought you a car. I should have built you a house. I should have called you more
I should have done it all.... 
Sadly it wasn't enough. And now you're gone I feel dazed and lost. I thought we had more time. I hoped I could increase the line.
I didn't know I would have this ache in my heart and my spine. Because I didn't do all you would have liked
You've been such an integral part of my life. I am not one of those guys who'd cry... But it's like there is a hole... A void... In the center of my being that I know nothing will ever fill. You were everything and more to me
I am sorry I never got many more times to say it. I remember the times I ran around in your peaceful little compound in Offa
I remember running to the library in Adesoye to borrow books. I remember how you smiled when you saw me bent over reading
I remember you correcting my essays. I realize now you were the genesis of my writing career. You sparked the flames that are slowly burning worldwide. 
I failed you in life but I won't fail you in death. My next two books will be dedicated to you. I will become a bestselling author to fulfil a mere smudge of the great legacy you left to many who love you. This I owe to you.
Sleep tight granny, hope I see you at the other side where there is no pain and endless dew. See you when I see you 

Monday, January 2, 2017

2017 and what comes next

It was a fun festive season ___
I tried not to consider so many unanswered questions.
I tried not to feel abandoned
I tried not to feel God doesn't think about my struggles
And most importantly, i tried not to feel lost and perhaps accursed
forgotten by all __ maybe even God
But like all things __ the festive season has come to a satisfactory end

Tomorrow I'll be back at the grind
Back in my line
back to the basics of what is my life
I look into her eyes
And I see her determination to remain by my side
Why she wants this is what I find hard to define

2017 says on your marks __ get set __ and go __
For years I've wondered what I am doing wrong
Same state __ different day __
where does it end?
What is my gift? Of what use is it if time continues to be spent

I am lost in a vent
God forgive me for the errors of 2015 and '16 and make this year blessed
You are all I have otherwise I am bent
And there will be naught but the end
Lord empower me to reach peak and my blessed end
Be kind to my soul and help me
My words have ceased __ nothing more can be bent
let this year be my year ___
Father help this tired soul break bread, and see satisfaction that can't be spent.