2017 and what comes next

It was a fun festive season ___
I tried not to consider so many unanswered questions.
I tried not to feel abandoned
I tried not to feel God doesn't think about my struggles
And most importantly, i tried not to feel lost and perhaps accursed
forgotten by all __ maybe even God
But like all things __ the festive season has come to a satisfactory end

Tomorrow I'll be back at the grind
Back in my line
back to the basics of what is my life
I look into her eyes
And I see her determination to remain by my side
Why she wants this is what I find hard to define

2017 says on your marks __ get set __ and go __
For years I've wondered what I am doing wrong
Same state __ different day __
where does it end?
What is my gift? Of what use is it if time continues to be spent

I am lost in a vent
God forgive me for the errors of 2015 and '16 and make this year blessed
You are all I have otherwise I am bent
And there will be naught but the end
Lord empower me to reach peak and my blessed end
Be kind to my soul and help me
My words have ceased __ nothing more can be bent
let this year be my year ___
Father help this tired soul break bread, and see satisfaction that can't be spent.