Monday, June 6, 2016

Marriage in the Nigerian setting

Hello guys! Sorry its been a bit. You know how it is___ busy, busy, busy
Well today I wanna yap about marriage! Yeah! Strange topic on this blog. But there are just some issues I have with how its done here in Nigeria. 
The term marriage needs no introduction. Simply put it the legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman (or, in some jurisdictions, two people of the same sex) as partners in a relationship.
What else is there to know right? Wrong ___ in Nigeria its a big deal. Some have made it so big a deal that they are prepared to go to extraordinary lengths to ensure they plan the grandest of soirees at the expense of the couple or the dumb sod who is simply looking for a wife. 
Here is the bible's take on it, he who findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor from the Lord. Paul was very clear on the subject. Reiterating that it might be best for a man not to marry. That if he doesn't, chances are he'd be able to focus more on God and his directives. But he gave a clause, Nevertheless to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and every woman her husband. 
In a country where most live on less than a dollar a day why in the world are the young men and their families forced to cough out exorbitant sums to pay not only a bride price but also to host an elaborate wedding? 
Some have even gone as far as borrowing money to host their weddings. Why in the world should anyone in their right senses do something like that? And in most cases the families of these brides are using it as an opportunity to not only extort money but also to enrich themselves. 
Now this thing called ankooo! For those that don't understand its when people purchase the same material from the couple and sew outfits to wear on the great day. Material that will most likely fade after two or three washes. 
When the groom tries to plead that they cut down on their spending the bride to be will have none of it. Insisting that its her day and if he really loves her as he claims he will find a way to cough out the money. Forgetting that they still have to eat after the wedding. And she will be the first to complain if she doesn't have food in her belly. But noo I must marry in style to satisfy some misplaced sense of vanity. 
When I think of my country I laugh most often and I cry sometimes. We complain incessantly about how bad our leaders are and such and when we as individuals are unlikely to do better if we were placed in the same situation. Its galling. 
I admire the foreigners for their simplicity sometimes. An American could probably marry in her backyard with family members and one or two friends in attendance. Try telling that to a Naija babe. You will regret the day you were born. 
I will end this post by praying for the eligible males seeking for a wife to marry. May God increase your spiritual muscle and empower you to marry that woman and may he direct the right woman your way. Selah

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