Wednesday, September 28, 2016


I feel fear.... That might be too strong a word, perhaps anxiety, nervousness might be closer to what I want to describe; but nooooo! It's fear!
Why am I fearful? That emotion usually consumes me when I am trying to undertake something beyond my physical, mental or even financial capacity.
I fear the unknown, the unclarity that lies ahead. As a Christian I feel and look shamefaced. Cos my heavenly Father doesn't expect me to fear. Unfortunately I cannot help it.
To the casual eye I am calm, confident. But that's just a smoke screen. My heart threatens to run away from me.
Why? Because I am attempting to do what millions of men have done for centuries. What is that you might ask? Smiles! Unfortunately I cannot say, at least not here.
In life there is nothing new or uncommon. What was done before will probably be done again and again and even better.
But like every fingerprint every humans situation is unique. There might be some similarities but for the most part each situation experiences some level of variance.
I try to be confident, looking to God and pray he delivers cos if he doesn't my goose is cooked.
To be fair to him he has never disappointed me. Whatever he says he will do he always does. But I guess it's human nature to be afraid. I read somewhere that courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to move on in spite of your fear. So I'll keep taking steps. Not fixing my eyes or my thoughts on those that have failed at what I am trying to do. I chose to see myself succeeding and the good Lord helping me. I don't know what lies in tomorrow. But I know who controls all tomorrow. He is my source, Lord be my watch. Cos without you this cannot be done. 

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