At Least Justin Bieber Likes 'After Earth'
By Bryan Enk | Movie Talk – Thu, May 30, 2013 3:31 PM EDT
Can the Biebs give a boost to Jaden's movie? (Photo: Columbia/ Getty)As
a pal of star Jaden Smith, the Biebs is being supportive about the
release of the already much-reviled film "After Earth" and is
encouraging everyone to see it via Twitter:"You know you're in trouble when you find yourself feeling sorry for one of the world's wealthiest teenagers," wrote Alfonso Duralde at The Wrap. "And you're definitely in trouble when you wish the mess of a movie he stars in could be as entertainingly rotten as 'Battlefield Earth.'"
[Oof, a "Battlefield Earth" reference ... never a good sign.]
Lou Lumenick of the New York Post kept up his publication's reputation for pun-happy headlines with "The Son Don't Shine on Smith's 'After Earth,'" going on to say that the film is "Smith and his real-life son, Jaden (both affecting ridiculous mid-Atlantic accents) talking the audience to death for something like 90 minutes before the closing credits." Lumenick also says he gave the film a rating of one star out of four simply because "Smith's longtime enablers at Sony apparently encouraged him to whittle this humorless sci-fi epic down from a much longer movie."
Director M. Night Shyamalan, whose
name is conspicuously missing from all of the film's marketing
materials, gets blasted by Lou, too. "Eleven years and several
progressively more dreadful movies after 'Signs,' director M. Night
Shyamalan would be lucky to get a gig directing traffic," he wrote.
Meanwhile, Dustin Putnam says the film "bears the mark of a work-for-hire who has all but given up."
Really, several critics are having
a field day with this one, taking off the gloves for what looks to be
the summer movie season's first official disaster.
"The level to which 'After Earth' is a catastrophe is amazing," wrote Laremy Lagel of Film.com,
saying that the film is "terrible right from the outset, and woe be
upon the person who holds out hope that it will get better after the
initial wobbly start."
Jaden and Justin, friends indeed (Photo: Christopher Polk/Getty)Colin Covert of the Minneapolis StarTribune
digs even deeper by mentioning the film in the same sentence as the man
whom many consider to be the Worst Director of All Time. "'After
Earth'" is a work of hubris magnified by multiple miscalculations, the
kind of film that would cause Ed Wood to excuse himself and skulk to the
exit."
"As Will Smith coldly instructs
[Jaden Smith] to feel, to root in this moment now, to master his own
creation, I felt the purest horror I ever have at a Shyamalan film: What
if this is what Jaden Smith's life is actually like?," wrote Alan
Scherstuhl of the Village Voice, quite the companion piece observation to Duralde at The Wrap
pointing out that "'After Earth' tells the story of an inexperienced
boy trying desperately to please his father while making one mistake
after another, and as such, it becomes an uncomfortable metaphor for
itself."
The most creative slam currently goes to Peter Sobczynski of eFilmCritic.com,
who manages to conjure a comparison to the wretched "E.T. The
Extra-Terrestrial" video game created for the Atari 2600 over 30 years
ago. "Watching 'After Earth' is not only akin to watching someone
playing the old 'E.T.' game that Atari put out back in the day but it is
one of the few entertainment experiences that compares unfavorably to
that legendary betrayal of audience goodwill," Sobczynski writes.
Jaden Smith in Columbia Pictures' "After Earth" - 2013
1 / 7
| Photo By Columbia Pictures
Thu, Apr 18, 2013 4:00 PM EDT
1 - 5 / 7
And
then there's Justin Bieber, who like the elder Smith is quite the
formidable and influential celebrity, encouraging us all to go see it.
But will a handful of "it's not so bad" reviews and Biebs' blessing be
enough to salvage this cinematic crash-landing? Maybe the Smith Men will
rise to the occasion after all.
Watch 'After Earth' Theatrical Trailer:
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