Strength is gone

I have lived through so many things
Wars, strife and sicknesses
If I tell my story I doubt anyone
Would believe me
But he spared me
Against all odds I lived
When I conquered, happily ever after
Was my dream
Ten years come and gone
And I can shout I live
I breathe
But what I face now threatens to consume me
Like the past I know
I will look back on all this
And thank God for setting me free
But I know in my heart
It will go down in history
As the most trying period
I ever faced, felt or dreamt
I ache more than anyone could ever believe
Some days despair threatens to consume me
The loneliness is such that sometimes
I almost cannot breathe
I could ask why all this is happening to me
But what good will that do?
I could run away
But where would I go?
I could pour out my thoughts on paper
But how long will that carry me?
I could whine and complain to others
But who would even want to listen?
Or
I could pray
Then I would feel better
But even now I find it so difficult
To summon the faith I need to be strong
I cannot go on like this for much long...
They say its darkest just before dawn
But my darkness has gone on too long
I can't fight this anymore
I have been strong for so long
Now father it is your turn
Help me before I do wrong
If my faith fails I have failed us all