When It Comes To Dating Success, Being A Smart Guy Can Be Your Worst Enemy. Here's How To Stop Over-thinking Things... And Start GETTING WOMEN
Listen. I've been teaching men how to become more successful with women and dating for several years now... and one problem scenario just keeps coming up over and over...
... and over and over and over again that really amazes me. I call it:
The Genius Failure Paradox
The "Genius Failure Paradox" is simply the tendency for unusually intelligent men to have very LOW levels of success with women and dating.
After contemplating this particular paradox, discussing it, and working on it for an awesome amount of time, I'd like to share my thoughts about it with you.
I assume that if you've read this far, then you probably see yourself as smarter than the average guy.
You know that you're a little different than other guys. You probably realized at a young age that you saw things differently and thought differently than others in school... And you've probably realized that your smart mind gives you an advantage over others in many areas of life...
Your smart mind gives you a particular type of advantage that can be very, very powerful in life: you're usually right. Smart people get used to being right because they usually ARE right. And when you're right more often than others, you can get ahead in many situations.
But unfortunately... this smart mind of yours can actually be worse than useless when it comes to a key area of life...
Why A Smart Mind Is Your WORST ENEMY When It Comes To Women
It can actually be like having a hammer when you need to tighten a bolt. If you use the tool you have for the job, you'll most likely make the situation worse.
Of course, it's hard for a smart guy to even imagine a situation where his smart mind could hurt his chances for success... but trust me, this is one of those situations. So relax, open your smart mind, and let me share with you:
10 Reasons Smart Guys Fail With Women (And What To Do About It)
Are you buckled in? Is your mind open? Awesome. Then let's get to them:
REASON #1: You're Wrong But Won't Admit It
I mentioned that smart guys are used to being right in most situations. And what do most smart guys do when they come across a situation where they're wrong?
They find a new situation... one that fits their strength. They know they'll be right next time, so they just walk away... knowing that it won't be long before they're right again. (OR they let the problem situation destroy them... more on that later.)
Well, the problem about being wrong when it comes to women and dating is there's nowhere to run and hide. There's no quick "I'm right" around the next corner to make you feel better.
It only takes failing with a few women in a row for a smart guy to see the pattern... and realize that something isn't working.
Think harder. A smart guy just assumes that his logic must be good... so he just keeps thinking harder.But when no success comes, it really starts to become mentally difficult.
Accepting that you're wrong is a very hard thing for a smart guy to do. Accepting that you're not only wrong, but you have no clue where to even start is even more difficult.
Ultimately, many smart guys come up with the following logical conclusion: I am a smart guy, therefore if I can't figure out how to be successful with women and dating, then the problem must not be solvable or worth solving. Try that on for a self-defeating idea.
REASON #2: You're Blinded By Arrogance
In short, many smart guys refuse to accept that a good, solid, workable answer could come from someone dumber than them, so they discount any idea that comes from an obviously less intelligent person before trying it.
Let me ask you a question:
If you were going to be walking across Africa on foot, would you rather have your guide be the guy on this planet with the highest I.Q., or a caveman who lived a million years ago that had an I.Q. of about 50... but who grew up being chased by lions and all kinds of animals that wanted to eat him all his life?
It's an interesting question.
Now, hopefully you'd like to have the guide who isn't the smartest guy around... but who has escaped from many, many dangerous situations with deadly animals...
But now let me ask you: If you'd like to learn how to be more successful with women and dating, would you take advice from a guy who isn't very intelligent, but who knows how to attract women?
There's something about being smart that makes some guys unwilling to accept input, ideas, or instruction from anyone who isn't either as smart or smarter than them. Well, any smart guy can see the folly in this particular approach... once it's examined closely.
If you've been making this mistake, then you need to stop it. Stop being an arrogant bastard, and open your eyes. Look around. Learn from some dumb guys... and let them teach you how to get what you really want.
REASON #3: Poor Social Skills
It blows my mind how many smart guys I meet that just don't get it when it comes to basic social skills. It's as if they have logically reasoned that social skills are for lower beings who need to play games... and not worth the time it would take to learn them.
In fact, I believe that there are a lot of smart guys running around this planet who don't even have social skills and be a cool guy that people like in their mental model of what it could possibly take to be successful with women and dating.
Social skills are just that... skills. They're not social information. They're not social theories. They're social SKILLS. And you don't get them by thinking about them. You get them by getting them.
Excellent social skills are the foundation for good communication with other humans... and if you don't have good social skills, you dramatically lower your chances for success with women.
REASON #4: You Psyche Yourself Out
Smart guys do something that fascinates the hell out of me... They come up with all the reasons why everything won't work when it comes to women and dating.
They actually figure out why what it is that they would like to do will probably fail...
They use their amazing creative imaginations to imagine all kinds of horrible pictures and scenes... and then they use those imaginary outcomes to create negative emotions... which ultimately stop them from having success with women and dating.They don't even try.
Now, if you've thought something through and come up with a good reason why it would fail, it makes sense to not do it, right?
I mean, why would you want to do things that are going to fail? It is sound logic, but horrible thinking when it comes to the real world... and success with women.
Because smart guys don't understand women, and they don't understand what it takes to be successful with women, they are working with bad figures. They're wrong before they even start figuring!
Using your mind to come up with all the reasons why things won't work in this area of your life leads to ultimate failure. You must learn to overcome this habit if you have it.
REASON #5: You Seek Only "Informational" Solutions
What does a smart guy do when he runs into a problem... or he needs to figure something out? He looks for information to help him solve the problem.
More information is always the answer. Information is the friend of a smart guy.
Got a strange virus on your computer? Just hop on the Internet and search for how to eliminate it. Don't know how to change the alternator on your car? No prob. Just buy the manual and turn to page 147. Don't know the definition of a word? Open up your dictionary. More information solves the problem.
So what do smart guys do when it comes to overcoming a problem with women? They want more information.
They think the answer lies in learning just ONE more technique... or one more magic concept. Well what if there were a situation in life where the get more information strategy actually made things worse? How would you even know that it was making things worse?
Now, I don't want to suggest that learning more about how to be successful with women is a bad thing. It's not. But if you have a problem that is emotional or physical in nature, then reading five million theories on it probably isn't going to help you very much.
You need to get out in the real world and try some stuff!
You need to look at the real problem... the root of the problem.
When it comes to women and dating, there's a very good chance that you have more than enough information. Smart guys often use more information to distract them from taking action. I've heard this referred to as Creative Avoidance.
Nod silently if you've ever figured out a creative way to avoid facing something in your life.
Good, thank you.
REASON #6: You Focus On Logic Instead Of Emotions
News just in: Women don't feel attraction for men who make them think.
Women feel attraction for men who make them FEEL. So what do most smart guys do when they first meet a woman?
Exactly! They get into a logical conversation.
Smart men try to engage women in logical conversations and interactions because that's where they feel comfortable... not knowing that they're shooting themselves in the foot by doing it!
Get this: A monkey sitting at a typewriter will type the collected works of Shakespeare before you will make a woman feel attraction for you by engaging her in logical conversation.
When you start a logical conversation with a woman you've just met, you are basically taking out a neon sign that says, "I don't get it when it comes to women" and putting it on your head. Typical logical conversations include talking about work, family, school, and jobs... discussing politics, religion, weather... and anything that has to do with math, science, or intelligence.
On the other hand, if you start talking to a woman and you say, "Ok, so tell me something... Why is it that all women say that they want sweet, nice guys... but they all date sexy, selfish, bad boys?" (and then make fun of any answer she gives) Now you're having an emotional conversation.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, KEEP READING. You need more help than I thought.
Important note: If you just read this section, and you can identify with what I'm talking about, then I highly recommend that you read this right now.
REASON #7: You're Not Used To The Challenge Of The Moment
Smart people usually have time to think about things.
If you're taking a test, you can sit there and work out the answers. If you have a math problem, you can work on it until you've figured it out. If you're trying to fix something, you can keep working on it until it's fixed.
Smart guys are used to being able to take at least a little bit of time to prepare and show off their good sides in most situations.
Not so with women...
If you don't know what to do at every step along the way, you'll be shut down very quickly. Women have an amazing "He doesn't get it" radar system. Women have all kinds of subtle and ingenious tests that they throw at men to separate the get its from the don't get its.
And if you don't get it, then you're going to fail one of these tests very quickly.
But the worst part is that you won't ever know that you were being tested... or that you failed.
Smart guys aren't used to dealing with complex emotional and communication challenges in the moment... and especially the women and dating kind.
One of the keys to becoming more successful with women and dating is learning to handle all of the tests that women throw at you effortlessly.
But before you can learn how to deal with the tests, you must first learn how to communicate on an emotional level, how to demonstrate that you have fundamental social skills, and how to keep your cool in the moment.
REASON #8: You Think That Doing "Nice Things" Is The Smart Way
OK, let me ask you a trick question:
If I told you that you were going to have a date with the super model of your choice, which of the following would you choose as a smart way of preparing:
- Find out what her favorite type of flowers are, and show up with a dozen of them so she would be wowed.
- Learn about her favorite travel destination so you could discuss it with her.
- Find out what her favorite type of food is so you could take her to dinner... and she could see that you cared enough to choose something that she enjoyed.
OK, time's up. Which did you choose?
Now, I already mentioned that this was a trick question.
The answer is none of the above. But WHY? These three options all seemed logical, right?
I mean, why wouldn't you want to show up with her favorite flowers? Why wouldn't you want to talk about to her about her favorite places to travel? Why wouldn't you want to take her to eat her favorite foods so she enjoyed herself? Go with me here...
Smart guys think that they're being clever when they do things like buying a woman her favorite flowers... and bringing them to the first date. Right?
In their minds they're thinking, "I'm going to be the guy who is thinking ahead... and I'm going to show up with the flowers that I know she loves... and she's going to see them and like me more because of it." Makes sense... good math, right?
Well the one teensy-weensy mistake that these smart guys make is not realizing that it doesn't actually take a smart person to think like this!
In fact, any jackass can figure out how to kiss a woman's ass. And guess what? Women know this! And guess what else? Every WUSSBAG does this stuff.
An intelligent guy, in his proud arrogance, will think he's being such the charmer by using this thoughtful approach ...and the woman he is chasing will interpret it as just another wussy who's trying to manipulate her.
Ouch. Another blow to intelligence.
REASON #9: You Always Need To Be The Expert
Have you ever met someone who always needed to be right? Someone who would actually argue with you about something they knew nothing about... and make a fool of themselves because they just couldn't shut their smart mouths?
Over my years of helping guys improve their success with women, I see this one pattern over and over again... Smart guys don't like to be beginners at anything. They don't like the idea of screwing up... especially if others are watching.
They want to maintain this smart guy image of themselves... so they try to always be The Expert at whatever they do.
Instead of saying, "Hey, you know what? I'm a beginner at this... how do I do it? What should I do first? What next?"... and instead of being totally ok with screwing up, making mistakes, and making a fool of themselves in front of others in order to learn.
They won't risk embarrassment, failure, or others thinking that they're beginners... so they wind up ultimately failing. But it's OKAY to be a beginner.
REASON #10: You Can't Deal With Fear And Other Emotions
A smart guy's strength is his mind. His weakness is often his emotions.
Smart guys are often immobilized by fear. Totally stopped. Frozen.
And since many smart guys aren't comfortable dealing with things they're not good at, they just repress or run away from fear. Many men would rather die in lonely isolation than admit that they don't know how to deal with their emotions ... or, God forbid, ask for help!
I went for years like this. I know what it's like.
But the reality is that any guy can learn to handle and even master his emotions (even fear)... if he just takes the time and effort to learn HOW to do it.
If this is you, then do yourself a big favor... take the time. Take the effort.
Don't worry about what anyone else thinks of you... it doesn't matter. What matters is you doing the things that YOU need to do for you.
I think the reason why I'm so fascinated with The Genius Failure Paradox is because I have had to struggle with all of these issues for a lot of years of my life. Now, I'm not saying that I'm the smartest guy on the planet... but it always bothered the hell out of me that even though I was so good at figuring things out, I couldn't figure women out.
Something Tells Me YOU Know Exactly What I'm Talking About
After beating my head against the wall for a few years... trying all kinds of crazy logical stuff... I finally got the bright idea to start studying guys who were naturally good with women.
Of course, I found out that you could be both not smart and very successful with women at the same time. I also learned that you can be smart and very successful with women too.
By carefully studying what the naturals did with women... and learning how they thought about the topic, I began to realize that success with women wasn't entirely logical. Much of what I learned was very tough for me to accept... because my logical brain just didn't want to buy into it.
One thing I saw was guys pushing women away from them... and having the women then chase them in response. Made no sense at all.
I saw guys tease beautiful women and make jokes about them to their faces... and then watched those women become little girls in response... unable to maintain their composure and therefore unable to maintain their manipulative power...
It took me quite a long time, but I continued to learn, test, and refine what I was learning until I personally figured out how to approach women in any situation... get any woman's number I wanted anytime I wanted... date any type of woman I wanted...
... and most importantly, get rid of that empty feeling that I carried around my whole life because I didn't know how to attract women.
Once I Got This Handled, I Wanted To Help Others, Too
And the first major result of all this time, effort, and energy was my Advanced Dating Techniques program.
It's OVER 12 FULL HOURS of me personally teaching all of my very best concepts, secrets, and step-by-step techniques... recorded at a special 3-day live program I did just for this purpose.
You not only get to learn directly from me, but you also get to see and/or hear from many of the guys that I learned from... because they're guests on the program.
As a matter of fact, the guest interviews alone are priceless.
If you're ready to finally get this area of your life figured out, then you need to get this program. All the details, plus some great FREE video sample clips are here:
|Get Your Love Life Handled|
Oh... and if you haven't downloaded my world-famous online eBook called Double Your Dating, then you need to go and do that now. You can download it and be reading it within a few minutes from right now. You can download it here.
I'll talk to you again soon!
P.S. I've got an entire curriculum of programs to help you in every area of success with women and dating. You can watch FREE video clips of them and get all the details HERE.
The material contained in this and any other communication from David DeAngelo is an expression of opinion and is not to be construed as legal, medical or professional advice. This material may only to be used for personal entertainment purposes.
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