Thursday, February 28, 2013

Five First date blunders

Dating! One word but a wide complexity of meanings. Sometimes like love it is abused. So many make an abysmal failure of it; because like many things in the world we do not know how to go or should I say engage in it.
It could be because of poor people skills, etiquette or my personal favorite we are trying to get embroiled with something that we are not emotionally ready for. You take your pick.
However my objective is not to undertake a lengthy diatribe about the pros and cons of dating. Or to throw some advice around like some expert date doctor which I am most certainly not.
My objective is to point out five common first date blunders that most people make without even realizing it. If you read through them and see one or two that sound eerily similar to some things that you do then that might probably be the reason why you haven't had that much success with dating. Before I list them however I want to give you a short description of what dating is.
Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public together as a couple.
The protocols and practices of dating and the terms used to describe it vary from country to country. The most common idea is two people trying out a relationship and exploring whether they are compatible.
Now that we have an idea of what the term dating is let me point out five first date blunders people most often make without even realizing it.
There are certain things you should never do on a first date if you want the person to like you and go on a second date with you. One of the most common complaints is
1. Puntuality : - This for many singles is a big turn off. No one wants to sit around for an hour, dressed and ready to go or in some cases already at the meeting point and your date hasent shown. Being on time is KEY! And if something unexpected happens AT LEAST CALL!
2. Talking about your ex:- A big NO, NO to this one. Do not talk repeatedly about an ex or someone you have dated previously. Nothing is more annoying than listening to someone tell you how their ex did them wrong or how a previous date turned out to be a bad one. Whatever you do pay attention to the date you are on and forget about the previous loves of your life.
3. The truth:- Just because your date doesn't really know you well doesn't mean they won't be able to spot lies and exaggerations about who and what you are. I know we all feel the need to impress our date. To show off our best sides in a bid to make them more attracted to you. But you'd probably do better by being yourself. Keep in mind that whoever is gonna like you will like you airs or not so why not just stick to the truth?
4. Talking incessantly about the future:- Don't talk about future dates with the person. Don't mention marriage, engagement, travelling together to a faraway place or anything so bold. Just stick to having a good time. It is ok to ask if you can see the person later. But don't try to set up the next date on the first date.
5. Pay attention to your date:- Ask questions about him or her. But don't get too personal. Subjects to avoid include finances, previous lovers, weights or measurements. Acceptable subjects include hobbies or interests, what he or she does for a living, what college he or she attended, places they have visited and so on. But keep in mind that these topics need to be spread out over the entire evening and not fired away one after the other as if the person is on trial.
And whatever you do, don't gawk or stare at a beautiful woman or handsome man as they walk by since it is basically a slap in the face to your date. Don't go overboard with beverages or alchohol either. Your date doesn't want to see you drunk.
Well that's that. If you avoid these five first date blunders I believe you are well on the way to making your first date an instant success.
Till we talk again I remain Akintomide Ifedayo Adigwe
Have a nice day

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and just a friendly reminder. My new book without a voice comes out soon

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